It's been a while... but all is still the same.
Future lover, future me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can’t believe
That anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me
I feel empty again
Dead
As if no love can touch me anywhere
To those I disappoint each day
I’m sorry
Thanks for trying
But love to me is a difficult feat
A feat I almost can’t achieve
How many times have I loved, I wonder
I’ve loved an E, another E, a K, an S, an I, an S and now
None
No letter to accompany my own E
I have felt no true desire to be touched
To be loved
To feel anything at all
Why is love so rare for me
When to other it comes so easily
So naturally
I want to love
But I cannot
Before the bond of heart commences a different one must first occur
But that bond is practically impossible
No life could touch me like that now
How many times has my love been thrown in my face
How many has it come true
The answers are all and none
Why can’t I for once in my life love
Kiss
Touch
Feel that intimacy that bounds our beings
Our humanity
I used to wonder if I was so dead on the inside
No death or kill would touch me
Would make feel guilt
Or pain
And yet I live
I exist
Someone will love me one day
But that feels so far away
As if it is in another plane
Another life
Another world
Someone will love me
But that someone isn’t me.
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